April Fools'
Or- A Schedule Divided Against Itself Cannot Stand
Tonight is my last night working at a hotel. Hopefully, forever. There are a few reasons why.
Firstly and most importantly, it was a waste of my time. I mean, I know I was getting paid, but having this job was putting me more and more behind from where I wanted to be in life. I know I may never get to where I want to be, but working was making it nearly impossible. I was getting further and further behind.
Starting now the Calamity comic is first priority. It HAS to be finished by the end of April. Solid deadline, no buts.
Then, starting May, I work on a long book. A little more than one hundred sixty pages altogether. My guess is just drawing it will take at least a year and three months. I'm not worried about publishing right now. Self publishing is the plan. I've got a printer for the book, quotes, and convincing samples from them, so that's already taken care of if need be. But, honestly, I think there are some far crappier writers and artists getting their crap published, so I'm giving myself at least a thirty percent chance of not having to self publish. But I'll out-of-pocket it all if I have to. We'll see.
So, that's the plan. Quit my job that pays, then work for more than a year without getting paid for it. Genius!
The other big thing was that I had to work a couple nights every week, which might not sound like much, but having to work a few night shifts, then evenings on top of trying to have a normal life will wear you down eventually. I hated having to regather and compose myself over a day or two to regain my mental faculties, instead of just having them to begin with. I feel like I've been suffering from a 40 point mental handicap for the last eight months or so. And after a few days getting myself adjusted back, as soon as I was back to feeling almost normal, it was time to work nights again and the cycle started over again. Endlessly, forever.
So, I quit. And now I'll soon be back to doing nothing but drawing, for the very long, foreseeable future. I don't know what'll happen when I'm done though. This is a pretty huge leap, so utter failure is a very real possibility. But at least I'll have tried. And, I like to think it's my style that I'd rather have a glorious failure than a lukewarm success.
I just came off from one of my last night shifts, so it's a little hard for me to properly compose myself and my thoughts in an orderly fashion. So, I'll leave off with what I like to think is an appropriate, though perhaps overused, quote from the man who is tied (with Lincoln) for my favorite president, Theodore Roosevelt, from his speech Citizenship in a Republic-
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
